Lipstick for goats

Lipstick for goats

Tuesday, 4 August 2015

Goat woman evicts TV star from caravan

Those who thought they knew me laughed when they saw the ramshackle state of the farm house and the fact it is off grid, singing the theme from the late 1960’s TV sitcom “Green Acres” to me.  If you aren’t aware of what I’m referring to, do yourself a favour, Google “Green Acres” or YouTube the opening theme, it sums up the story rather well. I can certainly see the correlation to the condition of the house and I can only assume I was being likened somewhat to the Eva Gabor character.... OK so my go to shoe is a high heel, I will not leave the house without my makeup on and just maybe I sometimes over dress for the occasion, but none of that means I am a total princess and nobody knew of my secret desire to be a country girl.

Well, this Eva Gabor has chucked aside high heels (temporarily, one can’t totally abandon high heels) for steel capped boots and goat poo but never, ever her makeup! I conceded the hairdryer would have to be retired at least while living in our palatial tin can on wheels aka ancient caravan and while we didn't have a huge amount of solar power.  

The caravan was our home for 3 years while we slowly fixed up the vandalised house.
I can tell you that caravan was like an icebox in winter, to the point we would sleep with beanies to warm our heads and a couple of pairs of socks to stop the feet falling off with the cold.   A ceramic mug in the cupboard had to be warmed in the oven before pouring out a cup of tea or coffee otherwise the beverage would be cold by the first sip.   

For awhile living in the caravan had its dangers.  We were often visited in the dead of the night by shooters, spotlighting from the front gate across the paddock, bullets flying at whatever moved.  There was even a bullet hole through the ridge capping of the house!!! Obviously these would be hunters were dreadful at aiming.  As soon as we heard a slow moving car or saw lights dancing around the paddock my husband jumped out of the caravan with a torch, waving it around to alert would be gun toters we were there.  I thought it may have been interesting to shoot back,.... No, no, I did mean shoot into the air.

While on a shopping trip at the rural supply store in town I met hubby at the counter with my arms stacked with bright yellow fence signs “Private Property, No Shooting",  hopefully they yelled “Hey! Peops now live here. Rack off!”.   The perimeter fences were liberally draped with these lovely new decorations.
We did eventually learn of a lady who ran a bed and breakfast in town had been advising the weekend hunters to come out our way as no one lived there.  Hellooooo, endangerment much, thank you lady!

To finish up

two of my babies, just because I can and just because everyone loves baby goats! Aren't they the cutest kids you have ever seen?

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